


Dean Reads Twist and Shout

by toogay4happy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby Ships It, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Dorks, Castiel is a Good Friend, Crying Dean, Cute Ending, Dancing, Dean Reads Fanfiction, Emotional Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dance, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Funny Dean, M/M, Metallica References, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, References to Twist and Shout - gabriel & standbyme, Sam Ships It, Sam is a Little Shit, Shy Castiel, Smug Sam, Sobbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 19:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8501899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toogay4happy/pseuds/toogay4happy
Summary: Sam is tired of watching Dean not owning up to his feelings for the angel, Castiel. In order to prove his theory right, Sam makes Dean read one of the most known fics to all of the Supernatural fandom: Twist and Shout. How will Dean react and how will this affect the relationship between him and Castiel?





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally (as is says in the tags) posted this on Fanfiction.net, but then a very good friend of mine suggested that I post it on here. So, here it is!

"I have to what?"

Dean stared at Sam with a look of absolute disbelief. It was about nine in the morning and Sam had woken Dean up out of his slumber practically scolding him. Sam, sitting on the edge of Dean's bed, was staring back at the other hunter with a firm glare. "Admit that you have feelings for Cas," he repeated.

Dean opened and closed his mouth in a state of utter bewilderment. "What so-called feelings do I have to admit here, Sammy?" he asked, a small hint of his usual snarky, sarcastic self breaking through his confusion. Sam raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer, slightly amused. "You are in love with the angel, Dean," he stated smugly.

Dean huffed a laugh, looking at Sam like he had lost his mind. He pulled away the covers and stepped over Sam's long legs. "I'm not gay, dude," he said as he made his way towards the bathroom. Sam huffed out what sounded like a mixture of frustration and exasperation. To Dean, he sounded like an angry moose. "I never said that you were gay, Dean, I just said that you have to admit that you are in love with Cas. It's going to eat you up inside if you don't," Sam said, getting up to follow Dean to the bathroom.

The door quickly shut in Sam's face, the wood almost hitting his nose. He frowned and leaned against the wall, his head angled toward the door. "I've seen the way you two look at each other. I've seen the way you two interact: the touching, the innuendos that Cas probably doesn't understand, the fact that you _**need him**_. You want me to keep going? I've got more," Sam said. Dean was silent in the bathroom and Sam tilted his head a little, listening.

Abruptly, the door opened and Sam was faced with an annoyed, red-faced Dean Winchester. He glared hotly at his younger brother, who was watching him with a smug smile, and stalked past him. "So if what you're saying is true- which it is not-, then why don't I ever think that way about Cas, hmm? I mean, I know my own thoughts and they certainly haven't involved that angel in anyway other than family and I am _**not**_ into incest," Dean said, sitting on his bed.

Sam listened to his brother blabber with a silent bemused look. ' _You're panicking because you think I've figured you out and you're scared of what I might think,'_ Sam thought. _'Maybe he just needs an initiative?'_ Sam suddenly snapped his fingers as an idea came to mind. He crossed the small motel room in a few strides and grabbed his laptop from the table. "What are you doing?" Sam ignored Dean's question and concentrated on the screen.

"Here. Read this and then tell me that you don't have feelings for Castiel. I'm going to be at the library doing research for the case and won't be back until tomorrow morning. When I get back, you had better have read the whole thing, beginning to end," Sam instructed. He placed the laptop on Dean's bed. His older brother frowned at the computer. "What is this crap? Is this some of that fiction that fans write? It's like thirteen chapters! Come on, Sam, I don't want to go through all that," Dean complained.

Sam straightened and crossed his arms over his chest. "No reading, no pie for a month," he said. Dean's eyes widened and his mouth dropped a little. "What, a month?! Sammy, you can't do that to me. Pie and me..we have a connection. She'll think I've forgotten her if I don't have any for a whole month," he said. Sam rolled his eyes and scooped up his bag from the chair. Dean continued to protest even as Sam gathered his things for the library.

"Dean!" Sam interrupted, "I'm sick of watching the attraction between you two spark every time you're near each other. Read the damn story and then try to tell me that you feel absolutely nothing towards that angel. You do that, I'll drop the subject. Capiche?" Dean's shoulders slumped and he grumbled his reluctant agreement. He watched as Sam opened the door to the motel room then pause to look back at Dean. "Read it. I mean it, Dean," he said.

"Bitch,"

"Jerk,"

A small smile quirked up the corners of Dean's mouth as Sam shut the door behind him. He listened to the roar and humming of the Impala's engine coming to life, the sound fading as Sam drove away. He ran his fingers through his hair frustratingly and blew out a sharp exhale of breath. "No pie for a month, huh? Well, I can just buy my own pie. I've got cards," Dean said. He rummaged through his things, searching for the illegal credit cards he and Sam used to live.

"Son of a bitch. He took them," he said in annoyance. With an almost pained expression, Dean glanced over at the laptop that was still sitting quietly on his bed. Mumbling curses under his breath, Dean made his way over to his bed and sat down cross-legged, pulling the laptop closer. ' _Cas held his drink high as he navigated the crowd...,'_ Dean read. He leaned forward a little, his eyes scanning the words as they traveled down the page.

"Cas...wears glasses and sweaters? There's a mental image," he mumbled. His lips moved as he read, speaking the words silently. "A motorcycle? This guy has style," Dean mumbled, "It's MY motorcycle. Hah, that's even better." As he continued to read, his eyebrows flew up to his hairline and he choked out a surprised laugh. "A racer? I'm a motorcycle racer in this thing? That's...really awesome, actually," he said. After he realized that he was talking to himself, Dean quieted, keeping his commentary within his mind.

 _'Dean Winchester held his stare and wouldn't let it go.'_ Dean flicked his eyebrows up in a quick motion of interest then made a small hum of curiosity in the back of his throat. "Maybe this won't be so bad, after all," he muttered. Oh, if only he knew what lay ahead. ' _He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to think of something other than Dean's eyes, or the sharp curve of his jaw, or the way his shoulders were set when he was at ease, or how he had never felt the bolt of lightning shooting down his spine..'_ Dean felt a small twisting feeling in his stomach as he read the words.

It was an odd feeling, one that was not uncomfortable, but rather held a sort of warmth to it that made heat spread through his abdomen. Reading the words, Dean suddenly wondered if this was how Cas actually felt about him. He shook his head fiercely; there was no way in hell. "This story is getting to me," he grumbled. Dean kept reading, though, his interest 100% piqued- not that he would admit that out loud.

Sam was sitting at a table by the large windows of the library when his phone started buzzing wildly. ' _It's only been an hour, Dean_ ,' Sam thought as he clicked the answer call button. "What the hell is this, damn it? What do you have me reading here, Sam?" Dean asked gruffly from the other line. Sam grinned, twirling his pen around in his fingers; he had already read Twist and Shout and he had gone through the emotional turmoil it caused.

"What part are you on?" he asked calmly. He heard Dean curse and held the phone away from his ear a little. "What kinda sappy crap is this? I took Cas out for a milkshake and fries as our first date? Come on, man!" Sam had to refrain from laughing out loud at Dean's intense exasperation. It seemed like everything was going according to plan. "Well, I don't see why it would be a problem, bro. If I recall, Cas seemed to enjoy it," Sam mused, watching his pen twirl with detached fascination. Dean went silent and Sam could hear him mumbling as he read on.

Sam listened to Dean's mumbling for a moment then sighed. "Is that all? I'm a little busy here," he said. There was silence for a moment then a crackling noise as Dean shifted the phone against his ear. "What? Oh yeah, sorry," was all he said before Sam heard the dial tone. Sam chuckled a little and shook his head. "He's in for a rude awakening," he said to himself. Sam felt his heart clench in remembrance and he bit the inside of his cheek. He quickly focused again on his research, leaving the memoirs suppressed once again.

Dean nearly spit out the beer he had been drinking as he read the next line of the story. "What the hell...?" he mumbled. His eyes scanned the screen, heat warming his cheeks and ears. His heart thudded faster in his chest, his mouth went dry, and his breathing became harsher. Dean suddenly clamped his hand over his eyes and took a deep breath.

Sam jumped, startled, as his phone began buzzing against his thigh again. With a small frown, Sam answered.

"Hello-,"

"You didn't tell me there was porn, Sam,"

Sam accidentally let out a loud bark of a laugh that earned him several glares and shushes. Sam tried to stifle his laughter with the back of his hand. "This is probably the most intense kiss scene I've ever read. Seriously, in an alleyway?" Dean continued, oblivious to his younger brother's amusement. Sam snickered a little bit more and felt a stab of sympathy for Dean; his older brother had no idea. "You'll be fine. It's not like you haven't dealt with porn before," Sam said quietly.

"No, Sam, this is different! I've never READ porn before, especially not gay porn. I can picture it in my head and it's like I'm actually there and-,"

"Goodbye, Dean,"

"Sammy, wait-!"

Sam hung up without another word. If Dean couldn't handle a little explicit content, then that was too damn bad. Sam had work to do and, without another thought, he returned to the book he had been studying. Dean, on the other hand, was now utterly engrossed in the story. He had his blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a beer in his hand. His green eyes flicked across the screen, taking in every word. "Oh, Hester, you bitch," Dean growled in anger.

Hours passed, but Dean didn't seem to notice. One hand balanced on the edge of the laptop with one finger clicking the down arrow while Dean gnawed at the thumbnail of his other hand. Chapter by chapter he read, his heart clenching at some moments and his emotions scrambling every which where. "The beach...I've always wanted to go to the beach," Dean said. He made a mental note to ask Sam to go with him. He might even bring Cas along, just for the hell of it.

The time ticked away. "Come on, Cas, don't cry," Dean mumbled sadly, "I'll be fine. If I get back from that damn war, anyway." His heart nearly broke as he read poor Cas and Dean's emotional breakdown in their kitchen. He would never see milk the same way again. Part of him longed to reach into the screen and take away the hurt, but he knew that that was impossible. Dean shook his head; he was getting way too into this. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to turn away.

Even though Dean knew that it wasn't really him, he could almost feel what the other Dean was going through. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he sniffled, wiping them away with the back of his hand. Part of him wanted to call Sammy, but he didn't want his little brother to know that he was crying. Dean read on, biting his lower lip in concentration. "Damn that's rough. Why do I have to go through this?" he muttered as he read the other Dean's time during the war.

A little voice in the back of his mind spoke up suddenly. ' _What do you think Cas is going through during all this?'_ it said. Dean felt an abrupt sense of guilt, which he found silly; he was getting all worked up over a fictional story. But damn, it was really gripping. Dean was drawn yet again into the world of Twist and Shout. _'"Come on. Say you love me, too.."'_ Dean gulped and he had to take a moment, staring up at the ceiling, his throat tight.

He continued reading, but he was trying not to cry at this point. "No! No, man, you can't do that to Cas. Get back in there and tell him what's going on with you!" Dean yelled at his story self. His cellphone buzzed against his leg and he glanced down at it in annoyance. He flipped the phone open and slammed his finger on the answer button without taking his eyes from the screen.

"Hey, Dean, I was just calling to-,"

"Can't talk right now. I'm getting to a good part,"

Sam pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it in shock as the dial tone droned. A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth and he nodded, satisfied. "I knew it," he whispered smugly. He had been calling to inform Dean that he had finished his research and was going to get back early, but things had changed. It was now time to follow through with the second part of the plan.


	2. Ugly Sobbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, who has been drawn into the story, has now reached the most heartbreaking part of it. This is his reaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the chapters are rather short, but this was a story that I created off the top of my head one day. I didn't actually expect it to do so well.

It was currently nighttime in the small motel- 10 o'clock, to be exact- and Dean hadn't moved a muscle. He sat hunched with the heavy motel bed blanket wrapped around him from head to toe. His eyes, bloodshot and gleaming with unshed tears, flicked across the laptop screen with intense focus. A box of tissues lay slightly crumpled on the nightstand, piles of used Kleenex beside it.

"Damn it, Dean, how are you going to make up for this now? Cas is sick," he said, his voice cracking. He had stopped caring about how crazy he must have looked and sounded a while ago. Dean's heart ached so badly for the characters that in the back of his mind he worried about his heart attack he'd had when he was younger. "Oh, oh good! Go visit him cause that will make everything better," he muttered sarcastically.

He held an unnatural anger towards his fictional self for leaving the story Cas the way he did. Granted, part of him understood why, but still. Dean freed one hand from his blanket cocoon and scrolled down. Keeping his eyes on the screen, Dean lifted his beer to his lips. _'"Don't cry," he whispered, "I'm so happy...don't cry...I don't want you to cry."'_ Dean's throat tightened up and he slowly put the beer down on the nightstand.

"How do you expect me not to cry when you're lying there sick and dying?" he whispered. He knew that this Cas couldn't answer nor hear him, but he ignored that fact. His heart was slowly reaching its breaking point with each word. "Ugh, this is so damn sad. What the hell, man?" he muttered to himself. He pawed at his face, sniffling and blowing his nose in to a fresh tissue.

 _"...oh. Dean," he began, "...you...finally came home...to me."'_ If Dean hadn't been crying before, he sure as hell was sobbing now. Like a big baby, as a matter of fact. "Son of a bitch," Dean sniffled, feeling very unmanly. Not that he cared. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and kept reading. _'"If you want to be happy," he said softly, "we can be happy."'_

"Yes! Be happy! Make him happy, yourself happy, everyone happy!" Dean exclaimed thickly, slightly hysterical. Dean was a total emotional mess, but he still kept a hold of the sense of reality; this was a story and it wasn't actually happening. He told himself this, and yet he was practically drowning in his tears and snot. It was a good thing that Sam wasn't there or he would never let his older brother live it down.

Realizing that Sam could walk in at any second, Dean straightened, wiping his face with the Kleenex, and took in a deep, calming breath. It shook a little, but he managed to cease the torrent of emotion, at least for a little while. He hoped. He read on, memorizing the events of this beautiful, amazing story to store within his memories; he certainly did not want to forget this.

 _'...leaning down to kiss Cas' forehead. He stared at Dean, and Dean knew that look. It was a challenge.'_ Dean made a noise of contempt in the back of his throat. "Hell no. Back off, dick. He's mine," he mumbled. Thirteen hours ago, Dean would have smacked himself for saying such a comment out loud. But he had grown so attached and familiar with his story self, that he, in a strange sense, felt in sync with him.

As Dean continued to read, he found himself ceasing his commentary for a moment. He imagined what Cas had gone through, images playing in his mind like a projector movie. It was as though he was seeing things through Cas' eyes and feeling what Cas had been feeling- well, the fictional Cas, anyway. "God, I was so damn stupid," he muttered. Almost instantly, Cas' voice- the real Castiel- echoed in his mind: "You were stupid for the right reasons."

Dean felt choked, real life and fiction intertwining. "Not in this case, Cas. I ended up getting you sick," he whispered. He shook his head to clear it and focused again on the words before him. As Dean was exposed to Balthazar and Cas' complicated relationship, he was surprised to find that the tears had all but vanished. His swollen tear-ducts and throbbing temples certainly felt relief from the ugly sobbing.

Dean picked up the laptop and carried it with him into the bathroom. He had been doing that each time he had to go, so his eyes never had to leave the laptop screen or its contents. He was just pulling his jeans back up when he read something that automatically made concern blossom in his chest. Frowning deeply, Dean carefully made his way back into the now familiar perch on his motel bed.

"Drugs? Cas...took drugs? No, no, that's awful. He couldn't have...Damn it, Meg, even in fiction you can be a real pain in the ass," Dean muttered. He was chewing on his thumbnail again, the blanket hanging halfway on his shoulders. His heart bled for the story Cas and he desperately wished that he could find a way to fix things.

 _'"It must have been me, why else? Why wouldn't he touch me? He wouldn't touch me...I'm disgusting..."'_ The sound Dean made could only be described as the noise an injured puppy would make; not so much a whine, but also not a whimper. It was a mixture of the two. "No, Cas, it wasn't you...it was never you. It was me- I mean, Dean. Not Dean, but the war...that goddamn war," he whispered. His fingers curled over his jaw as he leaned his cheek against his hand.

 _'"I never stopped loving you," Dean said. "Even- even when..." Cas sobbed. Dean kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him.'_ The real Dean Winchester, the big and bad hunter that would kill a monster without blinking an eye, had begun a slow, dry heaving sort of sobbing fit. There were no tears, but a sort of keening hummed from the back of his throat. "Sonofabitch...what is this shit?" he murmured, his voice thick and slurred.

Dean forced himself to continue reading, as much as it made his heart ache in sorrowful anticipation. He gasped then a tearful grin stretched across his face. "Jess and Sammy...had a baby? A girl? Oh, that's- that's so great," he said to no one in particular. "He became a lawyer?" Dean felt a burst of warm pride in his chest and he couldn't stop grinning, despite the whole situation.

 _'But then reality set in, and Dean knew that none of those things were going to be possible.'_   Dean punched the bed, making the springs within the mattress squeal in protest. "Why not?! Why can't Cas watch the baby grow with me?! Why can't we be together?! Why can't everything be okay?!" He knew that the other tenants could probably hear him, but Dean was on a rampage. Gradually, he calmed and continued to grumble under his breath as he continued reading.

' _The way that Cas had told him that he loved him over the sound of the waves, shouting across the beach, grinning.'_ Dean gulped and looked up at the ceiling, sniffling again. "And...we're back to the heart-wrench," he mumbled. Yeah, he would definitely be bringing Cas along when Sam and Dean went to the beach. Especially after this story.

Dean glanced back down at the screen, reading more, then stopped again. "Whoa, wait. Hold on a second," he said, pulling the laptop closer. Mumbling under his breath, Dean read down the page, eyes flicking wildly. "Does...does he not remember? What, he has amnesia or something?" he said. Dean hadn't realized just how close to the screen he was leaning until his nose brushed against it. He leaned back just enough to not fog up the screen and kept reading with fierce intensity.

 _'"Castiel Novak has no immune system," he said calmly.'_ Without thinking, Dean's eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth opened and closed in confusion. "What do you mean he has no immune system?" he said loudly. He nearly fell off of the bed when he read those exact words from his fictional self's mouth.

' _We're gonna lose him.'_ Dean's whole being seemed to freeze. His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened ever so slightly. His face contorted into a silent sob and he twisted his head away from the laptop screen. He clenched his teeth so tightly, his jaw creaked and popped painfully. "No...come on, please, no," he breathed, "Not Cas...please not him."

Sam was just placing the final item in his shopping cart when his cell phone buzzed. "That took longer than I thought," he muttered, flipping it open. He stared at his brother's name for a moment then pressed the green answer button.

"What question do you have for me this time, Dean?"

"D-does...what happens to Cas? He makes it out okay, right?"

Sam stopped walking, his heart sinking in dread; part of him knew that Dean would ask, but Sam really did not want to be the one to crush his brother's heart. He took a deep breath and carefully brought the phone to his other ear. "I'm not telling you anything. Keep reading and find- wait, have you been reading since this morning?" Sam asked.

He did the math in his head and shifted the phone against his ear, pushing his long hair out of his eyes. "Dean, you've been reading for thirteen and a half hours?!" The other line was silent, giving Sam his answer. He cursed under his breath and stopped to look at the items in his basket. ' _Is this really such a good idea?'_ he thought, biting his lip.

The sudden mental image of Dean sitting on his bed, gross and sobbing like a chick, gave Sam the motivation to get into the check-out line. "Sammy, please, just...tell me what happens," Dean whispered. Sam wanted to tell his brother- he really did-, but instead he hung up without a word. Dean didn't care at that moment anyway. He tossed the phone to the sheets, his eyes glued to the screen.

He was worried now as he read the few final chapters of Twist and Shout. His throat was scratchy from yelling, his eyes were throbbing from preventing himself from crying, and his back was stiff from sitting in the same position for hours on end. Dean didn't mind, though. He took a deep inhale then let it out slowly, clicking the down arrow to scroll.

 _'"How am I supposed to be happy without you?" Dean rasped. "How do I do that? You're everything. You've always been everything."'_ The words stuck a cord in Dean's heart and he suddenly realized something: it was true. Castiel- the real Castiel, angel of the lord and third member to their party-, really was everything to Dean. He couldn't imagine life without him. There was no use denying it anymore.

Keeping this tidbit of realization in the back of his mind, Dean's green eyes scanned across the page, taking in the words that threw him into a melancholic state once more. As he clicked for the next chapter, Dean took the opportunity to shift positions. He slid the laptop forward and lay on his stomach, tucking his arm under his chest. He snatched a pillow from behind him and set it down under his chin.

Settled, Dean noticed that he was nearing the final chapter. He tapped at the arrow key, eyes darting over the page to soak in every word. He was not expecting the beach projector movie. He would have to punch a wall or kill some random monster later just to feel manly again after this. Dean could feel the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks, but this time he ignored them.

He focused on the story, his heart getting closer and closer to breaking with each sentence. Dean was just shifting his weight on the pillow when he read it. ' _Cas died on a Thursday. It was sunny. Late afternoon. Beautiful California weather.'_ The sound he made was inhuman; Dean's heart had finally snapped. Snot and tears and ugly heaves of gut-wrenching sobs pretty much took over Dean.

He had to force himself to continue reading. With each paragraph, his sobs grew increasingly louder and more wet with tears. _'"It's alright," he said to the stillness. Another wave broke when Cas breathed._ ' _"It's alright. You can let go, I know-I know you're holding on, because you're worried. You're too stubborn, Cas, and I know you're holding on for me, but I'm going to do the right thing this time. I'm not-I'm not going to make you wait on me again."'_

Dean buried his face into the pillow, biting it with a muffled yell. "What the actual hell, man?! This is too much! It's too sad. How the-," he broke off with another thick sob. He lifted his head and read through blurry eyes. He was okay for maybe a few seconds then his eyes widened. Tears were falling in torrents now and his mouth was open in a silent wail.

 _'"Wise men say," he began, "only fools rush in..." He slid his hand to Cas' lap, closing it around Cas' cold fingers.'_   Dean sobbed like a broken record, hiccuping and clutching at the pillow in a vise grip. "They sing the song?!...oh God the ocean and the 'I love you's...we're still singing. I can't take much more of this," Dean whimpered.

 _'"No, I love him," he said weakly. "I love him." He pushed back against Tessa, his legs shaking. "You don't-you don't understand," he tried again, but no one was listening, "That's-that's my baby," he whimpered, "please, that's my baby."'_ Whatever self-control Dean had left, he just lost it. With a harsh cry, Dean wailed in sorrow. He kept reading, but he kept saying no on repeat.

Dean managed to read to the part with Cas' letter and, just as he was reading the last line, his lower lip started trembling and his teeth chattered. _'"See you then"'_ Dean made an angry skipping sort of sob and slammed his finger on the mouse, advancing to the final chapter. "This is the worst thing I've ever read. This is the best thing I've ever read. Holy shit," he garbled.

"Oh, the damn funerallll...," Dean drawled, drawing out the last part in a sort of keen. He now had a pile of Kleenex about the height of the laptop and he was still adding to it. Dean heard the distant crying of a baby from another room in the motel and managed a dry, bitter laugh. "Same, kid, same," he muttered. He continued reading, his tears very, very slowly ceasing.

"Damn, everyone is crying in here," he commented, reading about his fictional self meeting Rachel. His phone was buzzing again, but he ignored it, having been drawn into the world of Twist and Shout for the last time. "Oh, I wish you were real, Abby. I wish that you and Jess were here to make Sammy happy," Dean murmured. His chest, already tight from crying, warmed a little, the sensation making him shudder.

Dean scrolled down, a small smile on his face now, and read the last and final words of the story that changed his life. ' _Dear Cas.'_ Dean stared at the computer for about ten minutes then, moving with the speed of a sloth, closed the laptop. His eyes were raw and puffy, his throat was raspy and had a lump in it, and he was still hiccuping mini heaving sobs. "Well...Sam's going to get bitched at for having me suffer like this," Dean said.

He was just reaching for his cellphone when he heard the door click open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like y'all would understand when I tell you that it just about killed me to go back into that story and reread it for the references. I was actually crying while typing. My poor laptop had teardrops on its keyboard, haha.


	3. Awkward Moments and Devious Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has now finished Twist and Shout. Now, he's gotta face real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first wrote this, I was only planning on maybe two chapters. It ended up just being a really long one-shot broken into four chapters.

"Dean, I'm ba- what are you doing?"

Dean, panicking, had begun shoving the piles of tissues into the motel wastebasket when Sam walked through the motel door. Dean stood up awkwardly, nonchalantly nudging the full wastebasket under the bed. He reached up and scratched at his scalp with an innocent expression. "Hey, uh, Sam. How was the library?" he said a little too loudly.

Sam raised an eyebrow, a small smile ghosting over his lips. "It was fine. I got some more info on the case. Do you want to see?" he said, setting the bags in his hands on the floor by the table. Dean sniffed and glanced around the room, clearing his throat. "No, no, you," he said, pointing at Sam, "You absolute dick. How could you do that to me?" Sam innocently looked up at Dean and lifted his hands in mock surrender.

"I didn't do anything. You decided to read it. Not my fault you can't go without pie," Sam said smugly. Dean scowled and shoved on his jacket. "I'm getting some air," he grumbled, stomping out of the motel. Sam snorted with laughter as Dean's jacket got caught in the motel door. He heard a muffled "Son of a bitch!" and watched the caught edge of the jacket shift then vanish from view.

After making sure that Dean was gone, Sam, grinning, proceeded to carry out his plan. Reaching into one of the many bags, Sam began placing the items he'd bought around the motel. Dean, safe in the Impala, breathed a sigh. "He can't know that I was crying like a bitch over that story. Get it together, Dean," he told himself, smacking at his cheeks a little. He reached into the box filled with his music tapes and chose at random.

As he inserted the tape, Dean leaned back against the driver's seat and closed his eyes. Bon Jovi's voice filled the interior of the Impala and gradually soothed Dean's aching heart. With his tired, sore eyes shut, Dean tried not to think about Twist and Shout. ' _Yeah, like that's going to happen anytime soon,'_ he thought. Behind his eyelids, he could see random scenes of the story playing like a movie.

Despite the distracting music, Dean's heart still throbbed and his face muscles contorted into a pained expression. He watched the story version of Cas looking for seashells on the beach and suddenly felt an intense longing for the angel's presence. As much as he wanted to push away the feeling, Dean knew that Sam was right; he did love the angel. Not that he would ever admit it.

"Hello, Dean,"

The hunter's eyes flew open and he jerked back, the back of his head slamming against the window. "Damn it!" he yelled, rubbing the injured spot. "Are you alright, Dean?" Dean looked up and, the moment his eyes settled on Castiel, his heart pounded painfully. The fact that the angel was staring at him in concern did not ease Dean's inner turmoil.

A million different thoughts were going through Dean's mind like electric volts in a power-line. Dean felt like crying, laughing, and yelling all at the same time. An incredible urge to pull Cas closer and hug him as tightly as possible and pepper kisses along every inch of his body nearly tore Dean apart. Dean swallowed hard and tore his gaze away from the now very confused Castiel. "H-hey there, Cas. The hell are you here for?" he said, his voice cracking a little.

He nearly winced; it sounded harsh, even to his ears. Cas, who was there because he was responding to Dean's call, tilted his head and scrunched his eyebrows together. He watched silently as Dean quickly shut off the music and ran his hand through his short brown hair. "I don't understand. Do you not want me here?" Cas asked. Truth be told, the angel felt a little hurt by Dean's behavior towards his presence.

"No!" Dean said loudly. Cas' eyes widened as Dean squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip. "No," Dean continued in a quieter tone, "I do want you here. It's just...complicated." This confused Castiel even more. Poor Dean was torn between what he felt for the real Cas versus the fictional Cas. Part of him was reacting to the fact that Cas was alive and well, while the other part was agonizing over real life.

"Sam told me...earlier...that you wanted to see me," Cas said quietly. Maybe it was because Dean was in a sensitive state, but he could have sworn he heard a bit of shyness underlying the angel's statement. Dean suppressed an almost hysterical laugh and shrugged his shoulders, trying to act indifferent. "I never said that to him," he said gruffly. Then he realized how that must have sounded to the angel and quickly forced a smile. "But it's nice that you're here," he said.

Castiel peered at him with a funny look on his face. "You're acting very strange, Dean. Are you sick?" he asked in sudden concern. Before Dean could stop him, Cas reached over and pressed two fingers against the hunter's forehead. A low hum vibrated in the hunter's throat at the angel's touch. He closed his eyes and, for five split seconds, he focused entirely on the warmth and sensation of Cas' fingers on his skin.

He didn't realize that the throbbing in the back of his head had vanished until Cas pulled away. Dean, without thinking, leaned forward, searching for the smooth, warm finger pads that belonged to his angel. With a jolt, Dean quickly leaned back and took a deep breath. ' _MY angel? Did I really refer to him as MY angel?'_ he thought. Cas frowned as he watched his friend struggled internally. Sam had mentioned that Dean might act a little differently than usual, but this was ridiculous.

"How are you feeling, Cas?" Dean suddenly asked. Castiel, startled by the question, blinked three times fast then smiled shyly. "I'm in good health, Dean. Why do you ask?" he said. Dean's heart, the moment Cas smiled, both twinged painfully and pounded in an odd sort of excitement, almost like an adrenaline rush. In his core, a type of fluttering sensation tickled his abdomen. His palms felt sweaty and he was suddenly very nervous. Of course, he had managed to smirk and maintain his usual confident aura.

"Just wondering, that's all," he said. Cas looked at Dean with a sort of amused expression and quirked up an eyebrow. "Do you have something on your mind, Dean?" he asked. Dean glanced over at him with the look a deer would make when caught in headlights. Cas tilted his head and, to his surprise, noticed that Dean's cheeks were steadily turning red. For some reason, Cas found that to be endearing and found himself smiling again.

He had been doing that a lot lately- smiling. Castiel might not have known all there was to being in the human realm, but he did know what love was. He had felt similar feelings for Sam, but it was completely different with Dean; everything seemed more...passionate. Cas wanted to not only protect him, but he also wanted to make Dean happy. He knew that that was all the hunter had wanted: love, joy, and to feel that he was needed. Cas should know; he had seen Dean's heaven.

Dean gulped and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He hadn't really been planning on facing Cas just minutes after finishing Twist and Shout; it was a little too much to handle. His emotions were scattered along with any coherently sane thought. One moment Dean felt happy then sad then angry then exasperated then sad again. He didn't know what to say or do and feared that, if he did open his mouth and said something, he would end up scaring Cas off. Or worse, hurt him.

"I-I want to tell you something. A lot of things, actually. But I don't...don't know how to say them," Dean managed to mutter. There was something bothering Dean, something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Ever since the first word of the story, a strange sensation prickled within him. It felt slightly like deja vu, but it was in a more intensified form. It was almost like the feeling you get when seeing yourself in a photograph or in a home video.

He couldn't pin down the actual answer; he just knew that there was something about that fictional masterpiece that touched a place in his heart. "Cas, can I ask you something?" Dean said, looking over at Cas. Instantly, Dean felt an incredible wave of overwhelming fondness and an intense longing fill him, making him feel like he would explode at any moment. ' _Is this what the other Dean felt?'_ he wondered.

"Of course, Dean. You know that you can ask me anything," Cas said shyly. Dean didn't bother to stop the slightly boyish grin that curled up his lips and looked down at his lap. "You've been around a long time, right?" he asked. Cas frowned a little then nodded. "Do you think...do you think that there is such a thing as reincarnation?" Dean asked. The moment he spoke, he instantly felt stupid.

Twist and Shout was a story and nothing else. Purely fictional and Dean knew it. Yet, he just couldn't ignore that there was something about that particular story, something faintly familiar. It was nagging in the back of his mind and, for the moment, it was all Dean could think about- well, that and Cas. He felt a warmth on his cheeks and cursed under his breath.

He glanced over at the angel, a bit apprehensive for Cas' response. He was not prepared for Cas' current expression. Blue eyes ablaze with an amatory tenderness that took Dean's breath away, Castiel's face had softened and he had a small smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. "Yes, Dean. I've experienced it firsthand," Cas said softly, "As have you."

Dean gulped and turned away, staring out of the Impala's windshield. If Cas looked at him like that any longer, Dean would end up doing something that he didn't think either of them would be comfortable with. "Why are you asking about reincarnation?" Cas asked. His voice had shifted now, not as soft. Dean had to pause; why _**was**_ he asking? Before the hunter could stop himself, the words blurted from his lips.

"I read this story that a fan made and...and it was about us. You and me, being together, being in love. I didn't think that it would affect me so much, but, ever since I finished reading it, my mind keeps mixing fiction and real life. I have all these sappy feelings whenever I look at you and-," Dean said, cutting off.

He hadn't realized that he had been gripping the steering wheel until he felt something warm cover his right hand. Dean felt the adrenaline rush feeling again in his heart and he glanced over at Cas. The angel wasn't looking at Dean and had his lips pressed into a thin line. But his thumb was stroking the back of Dean's hand gently. "Perhaps, you are just confused. You did tell me that I was your friend and that you loved me like a brother," he said slowly.

Dean furrowed his brows and opened his mouth to say something, but Cas beat him to it. "Though, I...I think that I might understand what you mean. I know about love and I feel it towards others, like Sam," he said, "But...I have different...I _**feel**_ differently...when I am around you." Dean could hardly breathe. Wrinkles appeared on Cas' forehead as his face scrunched up. Dean smiled, feeling a little shy now. Cas looked up and their eyes met.

' _So, Sam was right, huh?'_ Dean thought. It was odd; now that things were somewhat out in the open, Dean figured that something should've changed. Nothing was really different, except that Dean was now fully aware of what it was he had been feeling. Suddenly, Dean realized exactly the situation they were in and cleared his throat loudly. Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out of Cas' and swallowed hard.

"You, uh, you wanna go inside? It's-it's a little cold out here," Dean said gruffly, avoiding Cas' gaze. Cas, startled and a bit hurt, nodded and placed his hand on the door handle. "Sure, Dean," he said, opening the passenger side door. It creaked a little, breaking through the somewhat awkward silence that followed Cas' response.

Dean drummed his hands along the steering wheel for a moment then took in a deep breath. He let it out in a gush and opened the driver's side door. Shutting it with a slam, Dean made his way around the front of the Impala and, almost by instinct, went to Cas' side. Cas didn't seem to think anything of it and followed the hunter to the motel room.

They were nearly knocked down by Sam as the tall man suddenly rushed out of the door. Cas jumped a little as Sam accidentally spilled the beer he'd been holding all down the front of Cas' trench-coat and suit. "Oh jeez, sorry. I have to go to Bobby's. He said that he has a book that might give us some more answers about the case," Sam said quickly. Both Cas and Dean frowned as Sam hurriedly slipped his other arm into his jacket sleeve. "We'll go with you-," Dean began but Sam wasn't listening. Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder and Dean turned to him, his eyebrows furrowed.

"I think he wants to go alone, Dean. We're not needed,"

"That's not happening. What if something jumps him?"

"Dean, he's already gone,"

Dean spun around to see the rear lights of the Impala as Sam drove away. Cursing loudly, Dean kicked at the gravel beneath his boots. "Goddammit, Sammy!" he shouted, waving his arms wildly. He continued cursing and yelling even after the car had vanished from view. "...ean...Dean...Dean!" Suddenly, hands grabbed at Dean's face, halting the hunter in his tracks.

Castiel's eyes blazed and he cradled Dean's face in his hands firmly. "Sam. Is. Fine. There is no need for you to be panicking," he said fiercely. Dean knew that the angel was right; he just didn't want anything to happen to Sam. He felt useless not being with his younger brother. Sure, he'd be with Bobby, but that still didn't make Dean feel any better. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.

Without thinking, Dean covered Cas' hands with his and leaned into his friend's touch. Cas blinked in surprise. "I know. You're-you're right, Cas. I just...don't want to lose him again," Dean heard himself say. Castiel was silent, feeling the muscles in Dean's jaw clench. A rush of emotions filled the angel as he trailed his thumbs across Dean's cheekbones. "You won't lose him, Dean. He's a Winchester, just like you," he murmured.

Dean let out a small chuckle and, when his eyes opened, his expression had shifted. He looked at Cas with a soft gaze and he smiled warmly. Cas felt his heart skip a beat and his cheeks began to heat up. After a moment, Dean let his hands fall to his sides. Cas quickly mimicked him, feeling a bit embarrassed. Dean jerked his head in the direction of the motel room and smirked.

"Come on then, buddy. Let's go inside," he said. Cas nodded and was about to start walking when Dean slung his arm over his shoulder. Smiling, the hunter and the angel made their way over to the motel door. Dean used his key card and opened the door with a click. "You, uh, you might need to change out of that. You smell like beer," Dean said, frowning a little. Cas looked down at his clothes then back up at Dean, his nose wrinkling. "I think I agree with you on that, Dean," he said. Dean was about to say something else when he noticed what was in the room.

"That dick. I'm gonna kill him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved making Sam an asshole. I originally was going to make Castiel come through the door first, instead of Sam, but I changed my mind at the last second. It panned out, so I have no regrets. :3


	4. It's About Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas have been left alone in the motel with the items that Sam bought. One thing leads to another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my favorite chapter to write. I love creating cute fluff. :3

Cas glanced over at Dean in confusion then looked back at the items in the room. "Dean...?" The hunter didn't answer. Dean was silent for a moment then walked over to the table. His heart felt heavy and it was taking every ounce of his restraint not to cry. Dean swallowed hard and picked up one of the items. Cas peered around Dean's shoulder and frowned; in Dean's hands was a pair of glasses. Cas looked down at the table and saw a sweater and dark jeans folded neatly beside what seemed to be some type of record.

Cas heard what sounded like a whimper and looked back up at Dean. The hunter had his eyes squeezed tightly shut and he was gripping the glasses in his hands. "Dean...give me those. You're going to break them," Cas said softly, a little alarmed by Dean's reaction. When Dean didn't automatically hand them over, Cas gently pried Dean's fingers from the glasses and put them in his trench coat pocket. Dean opened his eyes and Cas briefly saw his expression of heartbreak before Dean turned away.

"Dean, what's-,"

"Please, Cas,"

Cas paused, his hand hovering over Dean's shoulder. Dean had stiffened and had one wavering hand up, as though in a warning. Hurt, Cas let his hand fall back to his side. He stared at Dean's back as the hunter walked slowly into the bathroom. As he shut the door behind him, Dean slumped to the floor. Head in his hands, Dean took in a few deep breaths. "Damn you, Sammy. This isn't right, man. It's too soon," Dean murmured, his voice thick. He wiped at his eyes, wincing at how raw they were. After a few moments, Dean stood up and flicked on the bathroom light.

As his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, Dean caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. "Ah crap. I look like I just got pulled out of Hell," he muttered. It was true; Dean looked like absolute shit. He guessed that, at some point, he must've gripped at his hair while reading Twist and Shout; it stuck up in about five different directions. His green eyes were bloodshot, red-rimmed, and were still slightly puffy. Now that Dean was alone and could actually pay attention, he noticed that his face was sticky with dry tears and snot. "Gross," he mumbled.

Turning on the water, Dean began to make himself more presentable. Cas, sitting quietly on one of the beds, was fiddling with the bottom of the sweater. He had changed into the clothes while Dean was in the bathroom, realizing that that was why they were there; they were meant to be worn by Cas. He wasn't used to the warm softness of the sweater. The sleeves covered Cas' knuckles instead of his wrists, but it fit quite nicely everywhere else. He was turning the glasses around and around in his fingers, wondering over their purpose.

Cas looked up and noticed that there was a strange looking machine sitting in the middle of the table with the record beside it. Frowning a little, Cas pondered over why Sam had bought all of these things. It was clearly making Dean upset and, from what the angel had gathered, the hunter had been through quite an experience that day. Sam hadn't been too clear when he had informed Cas that Dean might be acting strange. All he had said was: "Dean said that he wants to see you as soon as possible. I don't know what's wrong, but it sounded urgent. Oh, and he might act weird, so be prepared for that. Okay? Thanks, Cas."

Cas looked down at the glasses again and his frown deepened. "Why do you always look so serious all the time, Cas?" The angel looked up as Dean came out of the bathroom, looking better than he had before. Much better, actually. Cas hadn't realized that his mouth was hanging open until Dean came over and closed it by tapping his finger against Cas' chin. "You combed your hair?" Cas managed to squeak. Dean's hair, usually either ragged or mussed, was, indeed, neatly combed and was slightly wet.

Dean grinned a little and scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Yeah. What, you've never seen me with my hair brushed before?" Dean asked, sitting down beside Cas on the bed. In the bathroom, Dean had seriously thought over the situation with Castiel. He had made an attempt to separate the feelings he had towards the real Cas and the story Cas, but it wasn't easy on his heart. For the fictional Cas, Dean felt a sort of connection that he assumed was just stemmed from his imagination. But how could his mind have been able to form such feelings for a character if his feelings towards the real thing weren't identical?

Dean had gathered his nerves and had his heart set on finding a way to tell Cas- the angel of the real world- exactly how he felt and that it was genuine. But how? Dean and Cas sat in a tense silence- Dean looking down at the carpet and Cas fiddling with the glasses. "Why do you keep messing with those? It's not like you need to wear them," Dean said. His voice was slightly above a whisper and it sent a shiver down Cas' back. Castiel was another one with his heart set on confessing. He had been wanting to do so for a long time now. But poor Cas, being an angel and still new to the human world, was having a hard time with it.

He brought the glasses up and peered at them, his brows furrowed in concentration. "I don't understand the purpose for these, Dean. What are they supposed to do?" he asked. Dean's eyebrows rose and he opened his mouth then closed it. For a moment, all he did was look at Cas with a mildly amused expression. Dean gushed out a mixture between a sigh and a laugh then gently took the glasses from Cas' hand. As their fingers brushed, Dean felt a small, almost prickling sensation shoot up his hand. Judging from Cas' wide eyes, he had felt it, too.

"People use them to see. Like, say they have bad eyesight. They could use these," Dean said, gesturing with the glasses, "to see better." When Cas tilted his head in confusion, Dean opened the glasses up and held them in both hands. "Here, I'll show you," he said. Cautiously, Dean slipped the glasses on over the bridge of Cas' nose. The angel had his face scrunched up and his eyes squeezed shut, as though he were expecting it to hurt. Dean chuckled and made a few adjustments. When the hunter sat back, Cas slowly relaxed his face and paused, waiting.

"It's not doing anything, Dean," Cas said in disappointment. Dean laughed loudly and tapped a finger against Cas' forehead. "Open your eyes," he said. Cas' mouth opened in a silent 'oh' then he hesitantly opened his eyes. Dean's heart spasmed, but he kept his emotions in check. Cas looked around with wide eyes, taking in his surroundings. He looked like a child in a candy store, staring at everything in wonder. "These are very strange, Dean," he muttered, "Things are clear, but I sense no change in my vision. Did I break them?"

Dean shook his head with a small smile. The glasses slipped down a little and Cas, without thinking, pushed them back up with his knuckle. Once again, Dean felt his heart clench. Cas opened his mouth to ask Dean if he was alright, then remembered what had happened the last time. His eyes suddenly found the machine on the table. "Dean," he asked, "What is that?" The hunter frowned a little and looked over his shoulder at the machine. His body seemed to slump and he sighed, looking back at Cas. "A turntable, Cas. Back in the day, um, people used to listen to music on them," Dean managed to say.

Cas tilted his head and the glasses slipped down a little more. As Cas lifted his hand to push them back up, Dean found himself doing it for him. Cas stared at Dean with a slightly confused look. He smiled a little and gestured to the glasses. "Shouldn't I take these off?" he said. Dean raised his eyebrows at the hint of a tease in the angel's voice and his lips curled into a tiny grin. "Nah, I think you look pretty hot with them on," Dean said. Before Cas could register what Dean meant, the hunter stood and walked over to the turntable.

' _Okay, Dean, just put on the record. You have to get it over with. Listen to the songs and try not to breakdown like a damn chick_ ,' Dean told himself as he fiddled with the machine. After he managed to get the thing working, Dean picked up the record. Sam had, of course, bought the Blue Hawaii album. He could almost hear the fictional Cas telling him to play the record with Elvis wearing the hula shirt. Dean flipped the record over and scanned the song list. Nodding, Dean pulled the shiny black record from its paper case and placed it gently on the turntable. As _Blue Hawaii_ began to play, Dean found himself experimentally bobbing his head to the music. _'"I can dig Elvis."'_ Dean instantly halted his actions and looked over at Cas.

The angel was listening to the music with a content look on his face. He was even tapping his foot a bit. Dean suddenly got an idea and shrugged off his jacket. Cas looked up at him as the hunter came over with his hand held out. "Come on, Cas, I wanna try something," he said. When Dean smiled charmingly at him, Cas grinned shyly and took Dean's hand. Moving to the center of the room, Dean took Cas' hands and placed them over his shoulders.

"Dean-,"

"Just go with it, Cas,"

The angel's face was getting redder and redder as Dean pulled him closer by the hips. "Dance with me, Cas," he teased in a soft voice. Cas looked down at their feet and pouted a little. "I don't know how to...to dance, Dean," he said. A devilish grin curled up the hunter's full lips as _Almost Always True_ began to play. "You gotta start sometime, right?" His hands rested on Cas' hips and he began moving the angel in a rhythmic motion. Cas, startled, glanced back up at Dean. The hunter was gazing at him with a tender expression that made another shy smile spread across Cas' face.

Through each song, Dean slowly taught Cas how to move with the music and they eventually got to hang of it. By the time _No More_ began to fade away, the two had gotten comfortable with dancing together. Cas had even laughed a bit when Dean spun the angel around. Dean was just pulling Cas back against him, when the song- the one that would be his breaking point- began to softly play. As it filled the room, Dean leaned his forehead against Cas', his eyes heavy-lidded. He watched Cas look up and catch the hunter's green eyes and Dean felt as though he could drown in the ocean blue depths of the angel's gaze.

Dean hummed along to the song, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Cas, concerned, gently wiped at the tears that escaped down Dean's cheek with his thumbs. He didn't know why, but something about this particular song made Cas feel a strong emotion towards the hunter. He had never felt such an intense feeling towards anyone before. Cas gently stretched up and placed a soft kiss against the stubble of Dean's cheek. Dean didn't react the way the angel had been expecting; he thought Dean would pull away in disgust and shove him. But, no, Dean...simply took in a deep shuddering breath and held Cas closer.

They were gently swaying to the sweet music that seemed to fill the entire room. Dean's forehead was pressed against Cas' shoulder and Cas had his arms around Dean's back, his cheek against the hunter's neck. " _Like a river flows...surely to the sea_ ," Dean sang quietly in a broken voice, " _Darling, so it goes...some things are meant to be_." Cas closed his eyes and listened to Dean's singing. It sounded very sad and almost, in a way, nostalgic. Cas was sure he had heard this voice before, perhaps once in a dream.

Dean sang along with Elvis, his slightly raspy, deep voice mixing with the sweet tenor of the King. Every fiber in Cas' being was relaxed and he could feel Dean's strength beneath his clothes. He felt secure in Dean's arms, feeling the muscles flex a bit around him. Cas' heart felt almost too full and heavy with emotion and thudded hard and steady in his chest. The angel could feel Dean's heart beating against him and smiled warmly. The corners of his eyes crinkled up as he did so. A somewhat contented sigh escaped his lips and he, without realizing it, began to lightly stroke Dean's back.

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and allowed Cas' scent to soothe him. The soft sweater brushed against Dean's forehead as he gently swayed with Cas. ' _Am I really doing this? Is this actually happening?'_ he thought. He heard Cas sigh and, when he felt the angel's fingers glide across his back and shoulders, Dean allowed himself to cry. The turntable and its music faded to the background as Dean's focus concentrated fully on Castiel. Suddenly, Dean realized something about their situation.

Abruptly, Dean pulled away and extracted himself from the angel's embrace. Cas barely had time to look hurt for Dean crossed the room and took the record off of the turntable. Mumbling under his breath, Dean began rummaging through his bag, searching for that one specific thing. Cas, meanwhile, stood silently and struggling with inner turmoil. ' _Did I do something wrong? I should probably say sorry. I liked dancing and I liked it when Dean sang. Why am I continuing this thought process?'_ Cas thought, shaking his head with a small frown.

"Dean, what are you-?"

"Found it!"

Castiel blinked in surprise as Dean held up what appeared to be a music tape- or whatever they were called. The angel peered at Dean curiously as the hunter slipped the tape into a music player by the television. Cas opened his mouth to speak, but his words caught in his throat when Dean suddenly crossed the room to stand in front of him. With a shy smile, Dean carefully removed the glasses from Cas' face and laid them on the table next to the turntable.

Cas huffed out a confused, frustrated sigh as Dean hurried away again. "Dean, what are you doing?" he said. Dean simply smiled and pulled out a clean button down white shirt from his dufflebag. When Dean approached Cas again, he was more hesitant and had a light blush dusting his cheeks. Cas, still not understanding what the hell was going on, stood still as Dean's fingers splayed warmly against the smooth skin of the angel's stomach.

Very slowly, Dean slid his palms along Cas' skin to the angel's sides, lifting the soft material of the sweater in his climb upwards. Cas shivered as Dean's fingers bumped along his ribs and the warmth of the hunter's rough palms glided against his skin sensually. Cas had never been touched like this before; sure, he had had sex with that April girl, but it hadn't been anything special. This- what Dean was making him feel right now- was something entirely different.

It was over sooner than Cas would have liked. Sweater less, Cas stood somewhat awkwardly, the chilly air hitting his bare skin and making him shiver. Dean turned toward the angel then paused, eyes slowly taking in Cas' figure. Cas nearly choked as Dean nodded and made small hum of approval. He handed Cas the white shirt and went back to the music player. Frowning, Castiel buttoned the shirt up, fumbling with the last two buttons. "Leave them." Something in Cas' stomach fluttered and he looked up at the hunter.

"Dean, why did you want me to change?" he asked. Dean glanced over from the music player and smiled sadly. "Because that wasn't us, Cas. That wasn't our moment in time," he said softly. Cas didn't quite understand, but there was something in Dean's voice that stopped him from questioning further. Dean continued to look at Cas for a moment, his eyes flickering over Cas' body, then returned to the music player. With a satisfied hum, Dean pressed the play button and made his way back over to Cas, his gaze blazing with intense emotion. Cas' heart thudded a bit faster.

Music filled the room and Dean raised his brows a little. "I didn't know if you liked Metallica," he said, pulling Cas flush against his body. The angel smiled and even chuckled a bit. Dean bit his lip and tried to stifle the laugh bubbling in his chest. Cas snorted and, soon enough, the two were laughing again, leaning against each other. "I can always change the song," Dean said. Cas shook his head and wrapped his arms around Dean's neck again. "You like Metallica. You told Sam once that it helped calm you down," Cas murmured.

Dean couldn't help the dorky smile that just about engulfed his face at Cas' statement. The angel laughed as Dean started moving them to the rhythm. They spun and swayed to the music, each with a goofy grin on his face. " _Never cared for what they do. Never cared for what they know. But I know...so close, no matter how far. Couldn't be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters_ ," Dean sang. Cas rocked to the classic rock and his heart beat faster as Dean twirled him around again.

It was when Dean pulled him close again- close enough that their noses brushed- that Castiel felt exactly how hard his heart was pounding. At first, he wondered if maybe it was from the dancing, but, the moment Dean's green gaze caught his eye, Cas understood. Dean and Cas both paused in their dancing, eyes locked in one of their usual moments of prolonged eye contact. There was a certain...spark to this moment, however. Dean hesitantly leaned forward a little, glancing from the angel's lips to the deep blue of his eyes.

Cas was looking up at Dean, feeling as though he were drowning in those green pools of warmth, when their lips brushed. It was the smallest of touches, just a tiny breath of contact. But it was enough to make Dean's stomach drop and Cas' breath to nearly stop. Dean took in a sharp intake of breath and his arms tightened around Cas instinctively. Cas, without breaking eye contact, brought his hands down and cupped the hunter's face between his palms. That was all the initiative that Dean needed.

Leaning down, Dean captured Cas' lips with his own, feeling that this kiss had been long overdue. Cas gasped against Dean's lips and his hands slid from the hunter's neck to his hair. Cas' fingers lightly scraped against Dean's scalp, sending shivers down the taller man's spine. Dean's hands found their way back under Cas' shirt. As Dean's palms slid up Cas' back, the angel let out a small whimper. Dean felt as though he had been electrocuted, his heart jolted so hard.

' _Holy crap,'_ Dean thought. Cas pulled away to breathe and Dean took that opportunity to trail his lips down the angel's strong jaw. Dean had never kissed a man before and found that he enjoyed the prickly sensation of Cas' facial hair on his lips. Cas tilted his head back, giving the hunter access to his neck. The angel's head was a whirlwind and he could barely think straight. Metallica was still playing, but neither man was paying too much attention to it. Dean's caressing hands sent cascades of shivers through Cas' skin, leaving the angel with goosebumps.

"Dean...Dean, we should stop. Before things get out of hand," Cas breathed reluctantly. Dean kissed the sensitive spot under Cas' ear and felt his heart jump again as the action illicted a tiny moan from the angel. "Mmm, I don't even care anymore," Dean whispered. Cas forced himself to pull away from the hunter, even as Dean trailed tingling kisses down the smooth skin of Cas' throat. "Dean, please," he murmured. Dean groaned and pulled away from Cas.

The final strums of guitar were fading away as the song ended. Crossing the room, Dean shut off the music player. Cas gulped and fixed his shirt, pulling it down from where Dean had bunched it up. Dean stood with his back to Castiel, trying to understand the torrent of emotions that threatened to overpower him. Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around Dean's waist and a chin nestled in the crook of his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Dean," Cas whispered. Dean shushed him softly and twisted so he was facing Cas. Without thinking, Dean pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead.

"Don't apologize, Cas, you were right. We went too fast," Dean mumbled. Cas bit his lip and hugged Dean to him, taking the hunter by surprise. Dean, after a moment, smiled and hugged the angel back. They stood there for what felt like hours, holding each other. "Dean?" Cas broke the silence shyly, his fingers lightly gripping the back of Dean's shirt. The hunter made a small hum in response. "I like Metallica." Dean pulled back a little and looked down at Cas, who gazed up at him with an innocent expression.

Dean chuckled then started laughing. Cas frowned for a moment then smiled. "I like you," Dean said. Cas was a bit taken aback by this and his eyebrows flew up in surprise. Dean stared at him with a deer in headlights look and bit his lip. "I-uh-I meant that you're, you know, great. More than great. You're awesome and, um-," Dean stammered. His face was burning with embarrassment and he was internally yelling at himself for making such an awkward comment.

Cas smiled and lightly kissed Dean on his plump lips, silencing the nervous spluttering. Dean relaxed and kissed the angel back. "Let's dance again. I enjoyed it quite a lot," Cas said. Dean grinned and pressed the play button. As the two began to dance once more, Sam leaned against the passenger side door of the Impala. He grinned triumphantly and looked down at the figure within the Impala. "It's about damn time, you idjits," Bobby said, laughing. When Sam got back into the Impala and started the engine, he glanced back into the motel. He watched his brother and the angel dance like dorks through the open window. Sam grinned smugly.

"You're welcome, jerk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end! Did you like it? I hope so. Now, in case I have readers that read my version on the other site, yes, I did some editing. Not too much, but enough to probably make a few eyebrows raise in confusion. I apologize, if this is the case. Thank you so much for reading and for your support!

**Author's Note:**

> I probably won't have too many notes on this since the majority of my commentary on this work is on my original draft :P Thank you for reading!


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